pirate stories vol. 5

The other night I was putting him to bed and noticed he had a good-sized booger stuck to his finger. "Hold on!" I told him, "I'll get you a Kleenex for that! I'll be right back!" Seconds later I was back with the Kleenex, but the booger was, of course, gone. "Pirate. Where did you put that booger?"  I asked. He calmly tapped his nose. "Booger needed to go back." he said. "I put the booger back."

The next morning I found it in his ear.

***

The other day Pirate said to me, "Mom! A bug. It's a bug on my pants!" He had his finger over a rivet on the back pocket of his jeans, trying to arch his neck and back to give himself a view of the "bug."

I told him, "That's not a bug, that's a rivet."

"A ribbit?" he said, "That's a frog!?"

***

He sings, "Jesus wants me for a sun beep!"
He says cobered instead of covered, chickamunk instead of chipmunk, Chicken-Flay instead of Chick-Fil-A, lizzors instead of scissors, chetch-up instead of catsup, and Hook! instead of Look!

***

After looking at 12 pages of costume choices on Amazon, he decided he wanted to be a crayon. A green one. And eyeing the pointy green hat, he told me he wanted to be a broken green crayon. (The kid hates wearing hats.)