Tuesday, November 2, 2010

[no title]

Today as I walked out to the mailbox I asked myself: Was I ever really pregnant?? I remember waddling out to the mailbox on many occasions, my giant stomach leading the way. I remember thinking: Wow, I really am pregnant! It just feels like it never happened.

Later in the day I was on the phone with Kem. We were discussing pain levels during labor and delivery. I can't remember it even hurting. I know it did. I just don't remember it.

And now the little guy is starting to sleep longer at night. He's starting to smile and coo. And I'm already starting to forget how just two weeks ago I felt like I was going to lose it if I didn't get some sleep. How I spent the days feeling half-robot and half-zombie, trying to remind myself of all the times I had prayed (hard) for the opportunity to change diapers and to breast feed a baby.

Funny how our brains let it all go.

I imagine if it hung onto it all the world would be a much less populated place.

But maybe not, because I wouldn't trade this little boy for anything. I am positively, absolutely deeper in a love than I could have ever imagined. Already I am feeling sad that I had to pack all his newborn clothes away this week.

Everyone says to enjoy it.

And that is exactly what I'm doing.

Every minute of it.


Cannwin said...

The more kids you have the more your brain holds on to. I remember the pain from my fourth delivery far more accutely than I ever did with my first.

BUT, the more kids you have the more you begin to realize that it all comes in phases and you will blessedly, and blissfully (perhaps drowsily) make it through to the other side.

Your breasts may hurt like someone has stuffed them with needles. You may not have any dreams for 3-6 months. You may change more blow-out diapers than any human should be required to change. But inevitably it will all pass, they will get older and then you'll have some new stage to enjoy/endure.

I still look at my oldest and wish with all my heart that I could have taken the time to enjoy her instead of wondering when it would get easier. They grow up to fast... so enjoy it all while you can!


Laurie said...

It's such a fun time! I'm glad that only the pains and not-so-fun things get forgotten. The precious moments stay with you for a long time! (Especially if you take pictures of EVERY SINGLE ONE like I'm doing!!) :D

Emryn said...

Yeah, I forgot and now I am doing it all over again. Being reminded how much I hate the first trimester and all the puke that goes along with it!!

It still amazes me how much you can love someone who has done nothing to earn it!

Kelly L said...

I remember watching sun come up and crying while feeding my newborn - those days are tough... and yes, they do go by in the blink of an eye.

Love to you
I've Become My Mother

Aunt Merrilee said...

And we all go through a lot for these little critters! Each day is special, and remember to always have a camera around because he will do things all the time he has never done before! But most all enjoy each moment!

Mandy & Brian said...

I think we are meant to forget or else we would never ever have another one! Hope things are going well... give that cute nephew of mine some more squeezes for me!