I seem to be surrounded with pregnancy these days.
A few years ago seeing pregnant women was emotionally, almost physically painful. Life seemed so bleak and unfair. I doubted that I'd ever get to join the ranks of motherhood. I doubted I'd ever get the privileges and quiet joys of Pregnancy -a club I desperately wanted a membership to. Month after month hope fell into disappointment.
That part is still the same. The hope to disappointment cycle. This time though... the hope is heavier. I think the difference is gratitude. I have one. I got to carry him. I got to feel him growing and kicking inside of me. I had the privilege of giving birth. If I'm not blessed with another one, at least I have him.
Along with the gratitude has come a greater peace. We're still considering adoption. We're not real confident that we'll be able to have another miracle-baby, but there is a peace that I couldn't feel before. What will be, will be.
We just have to wait on the Lord to show us His will.
I'm not real good at waiting.