Thursday, September 22, 2011

the time i streaked through my house...


It was a little on the late side when I got home from my date that night. My mom had joined the rest of the house in the Land of Slumber, while I took myself to the kitchen and -knowing myself in those days- polished off an entire pan of potatoes au gratin. 

Before going to bed I needed to shower, and in an effort be as quiet as possible, since my whole family was sleeping, I decided to undress in my bedroom before heading into the bathroom. How that saved on noise I have no idea, but I promise it made sense to me at the time.

Anyhow, I grabbed my towel, wrapped it around my body, and just before I left my bedroom for the bathroom I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There was something large and brown on my towel, I squinted into the mirror wondering What on earth is that? A dead leaf maybe? I lifted my hand to brush it off at the same time I looked down to find that it was not a leaf. 

It was a cockroach. A fairly large one. Just chilling on the towel that was wrapped around my naked body. Talk about a moment. I tried to keep my scream surprise muffled, and I shuddered from head to toe. 

Then I did the only thing that made any sense. I slowly unwrapped the towel. I carried it at arms length, escorting Mr. Roach through the hallway and the kitchen, to the back door where I flung him and the towel into the backyard. I stood there for just long enough to watch him crawl away from the towel, then sped back to my bedroom -praying the whole entire time that my family would just stay in their bedrooms if my slight scream moments before had happened to wake any of them. 

Luckily, I made it across my house and back without being seen.

Then a had to freak out all over again when I realized that if I had undressed in the bathroom, as I usually did, Mr. Roach would very likely have ended up smooshed into my hair, or somewhere else on my body, and I don't think there would have been any possible way to stay calm at that point. 

Roaches = Yuck.


Amy said...

You were inspired. Seriously. That was pure divine intervention.

And a very funny story. Ha ha ha! You wild woman you.

Amanda Joy said...

Blech! This was funny, but I am sorry you had to deal with it... icky!

Tracie said...

Eww, Eww, Eww, I think I would have been screaming so everyone could hear. That is so funny!

Tracie said...

Eww, Eww, Eww, I think I would have been screaming so everyone could hear. That is so funny!

Aunt Merrilee said...

I can just see you streaking through your house.. how funny. Was it the 24th street house? We always had sewer roaches over there. Did you throw him all the way to the pool??