Friday, June 15, 2012

friday morning thoughts

I use Blue's Clues to bridge the morning gap between Pirate's wakefulness and mine.

Lately I feel like it's all  I can do to just tread water. My house is a disaster. My grades are sliding. Pirate is more demanding of my time and energy and patience and love than he has ever been in his life, and I am continually exhausted.

I said I wanted to "expand" this year, and I am. I just was failing to realize that expanding requires stretching, and I am being stretched to what feels like my very limits.

This morning, while I was reading THIS (thank you, thank you, thank you Jenny) I heard Blue's Clues end. I knew I only had a few more seconds, but I decided to keep reading. Then I heard a thud in the kitchen, but no crying, so I kept reading. Then, Pirate came toddling up to me dragging a full bag of apples, saying "Momma, Momma!"

"Pirate, do you want an apple?"
He jumped up and down, and said, "Yeah!!"

A minute later, he's on my lap and we're sharing an apple.

I love this little boy, and sometimes I feel how inadequate I am as a parent to him. I try. I fail. I try again...

Mothering is hard.

And yesterday, I had an Ah-Ha! moment. There is a girl across the street. She loves babies. I talked to her mom, and I think starting next week I'm going to have a helper. She can entertain the Pirate and hopefully I can get some cleaning & school work done. Win-win.


Cara said...

I find that toddlerhood is easily harder than the newborn days...well harder in the sense that they just exhaust you - and that 10 pairs of extra arms would be nice!

It's great you're getting a helper, it will make all the difference. On the days where my husband is around it just makes my day shorter and my sanity intact ;).

Aunt Merrilee said...

I am glad that worked out for the neighbor girl. You will have some "me" time?? Things will change soon, and he won't need so much lap time and then you will miss it.. I remember reading a little sign somewhere that said "dust will wait, babies won't". It stuck with me.

jenny said...

I feel ya, girl. And I'm glad that you might have a little helper girl in the near future! One day at a time...

wendy said...

Mothering IS hard......and I hate to tell you, doesn't get much easier. The challenges just change with their age.
Don't underestimate yourself. You are a wonderful mother I can pretty much bet on that.

Laurie said...

What a great idea!! Seriously, Moms can't do it all, all the time. I hope it works out for both of you!