Friday, December 14, 2012

a terribly heavy day

We live in hard world.
I've known this for awhile now.
In fact it was a beautiful September morning, I was on my way to my way-too-early-in-the-morning College Algebra class when I heard about the hijacked planes being flown into the Twin Towers and suddenly that beautiful day was dark and cold. It hit me hard, all over my whole body, that these are the Latter-Days as prophesied. This is the beginning of the very end. I felt that, and shook.
Raging sin, disease, and natural disasters, I am told in my Patriarchal Blessing are fulfillment of prophecy and will be the conditions on the earth until the great and terrible day the Savior returns to gather His "true and faithful and valiant."
Oklahoma City Bombings.
Japan's Tsunami.
Earthquakes, mudslides, tornadoes...
Boulder, Colorado.
Portland, Oregon.
The News Every Night.
We live in a hard world.
I've known this for awhile now.

But today.
Today goes so much deeper into my heart and my mind than I can even begin to understand or process it. Today I think of all those years and years I spent in Elementary Schools.
This one hits so much harder and so much closer to home.

How anyone could so cold-heartedly murder all those babies... those BABIES...

And I think of their teachers and I think of their mothers and their fathers and their families and I become nothing but a crumpled up mess, and I feel like I need a garbage can to get sick into.

Those babies.
The mothers of those babies.

The closets with Christmas presents and no one to open them.
The closets with the little jackets and boots and nobody to wear them.
The little beds that are empty tonight. And will be. From now on.
The gaping holes in the happiness of all those mothers. and fathers. and families...

They were just babies.


Kimberly said...

I am feeling it so close to home today as well. Those poor babies, and those poor families. Those poor teachers, and children who saw it all. The community, the staff. It is horrible.
It seems we will self-destruct before the world destroys us. These are the last days.
I try to take hope in knowing that God loves those babies, and those families, and those teachers, and all the people who are involved, and He will not leave them alone in this mess. He won't. He can't.

Rachel Ward said...

I've been crying most of the day. Tonight, it's been the worst. And a boy, a 12 year old boy in my ward died last night in a car accident. It's been an awful, awful day.
I have a kindergartener. I held him tightest.

Laurie said...

You have a way with words. This is exactly how I've been feeling, but couldn't put it into words. Thank you.

Amy said...

Babies. Someone's babies. I've been thinking the same thing. Held my own baby tighter and thought of my own angel, joined by twenty more angels yesterday. How beautiful they are.
How pure.
Free of the pain, sins, and terror of this world.

I ache for their families and their anguish.