First, I feel I would be remiss to post anything Mother's Day-ish
and not mention the sweet and beautiful woman whom I call "Mom."
Her love and presence in my life has been unfailing,
and for that I am truly grateful.
(Also, you're welcome mom only posting a picture that I knew
you wouldn't mind having displayed in such a public place.)
(I love you.)
Now, onto the meat of the matter.
For a lot of us this day is a dreaded one.
The whole week actually.
As a mother of twelve told me last week,
"Bringing children into this world is the true height and glory of womanhood."
we who are yet childless through no fault of our own feel this too.
At least I do. And I know my childless friends do too.
I yearn for this high and holy calling.
I yearn to be a mother.
Last Mother's Day is one I'm not likely to forget.
Emotionally, it was one of the more painful days of my life to this point.
I asked Hubby to take me home early from church,
by the time I got to the car I was basically in a hysterical sobbing fit.
It was a completely miserable day.
Isolation and longing -these weren't the only things I was feeling that day.
I was also a bit bitter, jealous, and loads of self-pity.
I made the decision then, that I would not be attending
church on Mother's Day again until I was actually a mother.
All this coincided with my friend Laurie's Book of Mormon challenge.
Truly, the word of God has the power to "Heal the wounded soul."
Last July, through a series of events, I was led to an angel in the flesh.
In two short sessions with Jacque
(a nutritionist/energy balancer/life coach/ other things)
I learned a LOT about myself, and what I needed to do to bring my
very out of balance body, back into balance.
Between honoring my body and nourishing my spirit
with scripture study and prayer,
I found peace.
This Mother's Day has been a completely different experience.
Even with the recent miscarriage,
today was a day of HOPE and of gratitude.
I did not attend church today.
Instead I watched one of the sessions of
General Conference I missed last month.
One of the speakers quoted a scripture that I have come to love,
"And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God
he doth nourish them, and stengthen them, and provide
means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them..."
Hubby bought me these as a Mother's Day gift,
which I really appreciated. There is a mother in me.
And like this flower, which Hubby brought home from church for me,
I know that one day that I will have the
opportunity to fulfill the measure of my creation.
I felt further blessed today by the kindnesses of sweet friends,
like Megan and Lucy who stopped in because I wasn't at church, and
like Kate, who left these in my mailbox while we
were at another friend's house for dinner.
These are some flowers my SIL sent just after my miscarriage.
They were beautiful, and even after they died, I couldn't
bring myself to throw them away quite yet.
A day or two later, this lilly bloomed.
It was, to me, a symbol of hope.
Hope is not knowledge,17 but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God’s laws and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future.18 It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.
I hope you all had a wonderful day.