Friday, August 10, 2012

just life

I've been unusually tired the last couple days. I'm pretty sure it's one of those things where I have so much to do I can't even think where to begin and that makes me tired... Do you ever do that?

Or it could be more of an emotional thing. I did some calculating and I realized that if I want to have another baby before we leave Colorado (and I do) then I have to get pregnant this month... and considering our track record it's seriously unlikely, but I am hoping for it nevertheless. It's about every sixth thought that crosses my brain and I don't know how to turn it -and all the heavy bags of emotions that come with it- off. I really think that might have more to do with my lethargy. And please, please, please for the love don't ask me if I'm pregnant next month. Just don't. Please. Because I'm already trying to prepare myself for the let down that it's going to be for me... (How can I be so hopeful and so faithless in the same exact moment? I have no idea. But I do know that it usually ends up hurting.) And in case anyone was wondering: infertility sucks.

And I'm out.

I'm going to go hop on the exercise bike and hope to get some happy endorphins circulating through my brain instead of all this negativity.

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